The Crying Game by Kerry Duffy Aug 21st 2005

I have many unfair perceptions of men who cry. The emotional types who like to think they are in touch with their feminine side and like to wipe away their tears with a velvet quilted sheet of toilet paper. There are the new fathers shedding a tear for the birth of their new child, the new age hippy stroking a tree. Or maybe they are all just big girl's blouses! Am I wrong to equate men who are quick to cry with being less of a man? Is it a sign of weakness? Likewise, I perceive big, strong capable men to be in control of their emotions, to first jump off a cliff than show their feelings, indeed this is what I would term a ‘real man'. Why then, when I see a boxer cry does it pull at the heartstrings? With the crushing defeats of both Wayne McCullough and Robin Reid in recent weeks, it appears there is another type of tear that will fall from the faces of real men. There is no disputing their masculinity whatsoever, in fact they are both prime examples of the true grit and determination that makes up the character of a boxer. The pugilist is another breed entirely. The punishment they endure inside those three-minute rounds of torture is quite clearly beyond the comprehension of many thousands of people, yet something deep inside is driving them through the rounds to either ultimate glory or crushing defeat. As Reid unfortunately demonstrated, they will come back for more when they have hit the deck, regardless of the pain throbbing tirelessly all over their body. They will fight to the death to ensure they emerge victorious refusing to accept defeat, and they will be distraught when told to give it up. There is something quite heartbreaking in seeing a defeated boxer, standing alone when it's all over and looking shattered, lost, dumb-founded as to why he lost, crying into his gloves. There is nothing weak, whatsoever about a man who has fought so hard for however many rounds and in defeat he cries. Indeed, it is just a reminder, if we need it, that these men put everything into their quest for glory, their heart and soul into pushing themselves into a better life. Likewise, it is not unusual to see the victorious boxer thanking his friends, family, and team through a barrage of tears and emotions, thankful that he has done it, he has achieved his dream via the hardest route possible. These big strong men being reduced to tears post-fight are not a sign of weakness, on the contrary, they are a fitting example of what makes a boxer fight so hard in the first place. It is a demonstration of the lengths they have gone to in their bid to be the victor. The sheer effort and emotion they have given until they can give no more. The snarls and muscles of a boxer belie a human heart.

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